Characters
STEVE
CHRIS
Setting
Park Bench, NYC
Spring time, on a wooden bench most likely located in Central Park. Steve has a newspaper, the two characters never touch. Both are well dressed.
Fade in
STEVE: (reading a paper)
CHRIS: (enters) Mind if I sit?
STEVE: Sure. (continues reading)
CHRIS: (pause) It is a beautiful day.
STEVE: Despite the world ending.
CHRIS: (shifts uncomfortably) Well, I guess.
STEVE: You guess? You can’t guess about the facts.
CHRIS: What?
STEVE: Riots in Europe, natural disasters.
CHRIS: That’s just what happens. It’s life.
STEVE: Not to mention the moon moving away from Earth every year; 3.8 centimeters.
Chris: Like I said, that’s just natural.
STEVE: Of course, natural. Your name?
CHRIS: Oh! (holds out hand) Chris.
STEVE: Chris, (doesn’t shake) of course it’s all just happening.
CHRIS: Yeah, that’s what I think. You know the earth and it’s people are just like that.
STEVE: (chuckles) Yes. The earth is just like the hole in the ozone, the global warming, the civil disobedience and unrest. It all just comes natural.
CHRIS: Hey! That’s not --
STEVE: Not what you meant?
CHRIS: No, it is not what I meant!
STEVE: Enlighten me then. (back to reading)
CHRIS: What I meant was, ya’know, we can only have normalcy so long.
STEVE: You’re insinuating--
CHRIS: --That we need disruption to make our lives more (pause) complete.
STEVE: Disease, unnecessary genocides, reckless use of power. Tidal waves, hurricanes, earthquakes. Miss Mother Nature: she sure does make us feel more complete.
CHRIS: Why bother. (exasperated)
STEVE: The exact mindset you should have.
CHRIS: Excuse me?
STEVE: Why bother, right? Everything happens for a reason.
CHRIS: Yeah, like karma.
STEVE: Animal abuse, domestic violence. Our failing infrastructure that just so happens to collapse right as sweet Grandma Ethel parks her ancient Crown Victoria in anticipation for the light to turn.
CHRIS: Good thing my grandmother’s name isn’t Ethel.
STEVE: A very good thing indeed. I’m sure your nameless grandmother isn’t here anymore.
CHRIS: (shifts uncomfortably) No, she isn’t.
STEVE: Thus proving my point.
CHRIS: Your point?
STEVE: Alzheimers, cancer, STD’s, heart attacks. The human body can live to be 100 years old, but for some reason we don’t have a cure to the common cold.
CHRIS: Why question it?
STEVE: Why bother, right?
CHRIS: Cold’s are nothing in comparison to AIDS.
STEVE: Great motto, but a tiny bit unoriginal.
CHRIS: What’s your motto?
STEVE: Mottos are unoriginal.
CHRIS: Oh, so you just go around letting everyone know how paranoid you are about conspiracy theories.
STEVE: Paranoia is just a medical term designed to inhibit people like myself. Question everything.
CHRIS: It’s designed to medically describe someone who has a medical problem. Scientific.
STEVE: What is science?
CHRIS: (sighs)
STEVE: I think, therefore I am. Right?
CHRIS: You are definitely something, for sure.
STEVE: We could all just be reflections of a parallel universe. Someone’s dream. Maybe this isn’t even really happening.
CHRIS: You have quite a bit to say, don’t you?
STEVE: Or maybe I just have a great love for conversation.
CHRIS: One-sided conversations.
STEVE: I just have an open mind.
CHRIS: I just have a headache.
STEVE: I wasn’t the one who started the conversation.
CHRIS: (scoffs) What is regret.
STEVE: You know some people believe that our excess technology causes brain tumors.
CHRIS: I’d only be so lucky.
STEVE: (back to the paper) Could be a sign of depression.
CHRIS: What?
STEVE: People who wish themselves things like brain tumors.
CHRIS: Wait, hey, what is your motto? You never told me.
STEVE: I don’t have a motto. Mottos are for the uninspired and trivial mind.
CHRIS: (mumbles) Paranoia.
STEVE: I’m just showing you the facts.
CHRIS: I’m showing them to you too. Friends helping friends.
STEVE: I wouldn’t go that far.
CHRIS: Neither would I.
STEVE: Then why say it? Like I said before, I didn’t start this conversation.
CHRIS: I just wanted a seat before work.
STEVE: And now look at you.
CHRIS: Yes?
STEVE: Wishing for brain tumors and talking to yourself.
CHRIS: I wasn’t wishing for any-- talking to myself?
STEVE: Yes, to yourself.
CHRIS: I’m quite sure that thing that happens when two people talk together is a conversation.
STEVE: Another fact: paranoid schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance in your brain.
An alarm suddenly comes from Chris’ phone, the message reads *DON’T FORGET PILLS*
CHRIS: (pulls out an orange vile full of pills)
STEVE: Maybe from the trauma of Grandma Ethel and the bridge.
CHRIS: (takes two pills slowly)
STEVE: Maybe even the brain tumor. The government has implanted bugs in your arms.
CHRIS: (swallows two pills)
STEVE: (exits while speaking) Or maybe it’s just the voices in your head.
Fade out
THE END
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